Change

Wow, twice in a week, that's a record for me right? Yeah, well, there is defenitely stuff to talk about. Change always comes when you least suspect it right. Well, right I guess. A certain offer has been made for a change in accomidations that could possibly drastically change my environment, and my remaining twoish years in high school. I look at it with some disbelief, but being myself I am trying not to fule it out as a refles. I find that that is my nature. I typically just backhand any type of change almost reflexively, whether it be ideological, theological, or phisological. I am not a person that likes change. I can adapt quickly enough, but there is always the lingering thought about what kind of level of comfort could I have found in those surroundings had I stayed a little longer, been a little kinder, a little nicer. In middle school, I found some friends that I truly would trust my life with, and luckly for me I have been able to keep in touch with them, even though we go to 3 different schools. But I sometimes wonder had we all stayed in middle school for ninth grade or if we had all gone to school together what would have happened. Would this same group have arisen even if there was no necessity? And this adversion to change is not solely about my being removed from the womb of middle school, but also being removed from elementary school, preschool, moving, and pretty much any change in environment. And now I have another choice facing me. Actually two. I could quite possibly be moving sometime soon, whether it be college or sooner, and I could quite possibly be abandoning all of my friends at my spiritual home to seek another home that can continue to nurture me. I am an Athiest, in all definitions of the word, but I still believe that the communal part of all of us must be nourished. Not doing so does untold harm, not only for the present, but also for the future. I need that nourishment, and there are so few places that I am getting it (aside from the 6ish hours of school). I am now trying to join some clubs, make friends and homes that way, but I know me. I will probably just end up giving them up. I remember that I was an avid member of Amnesty International Club, but because of their silent prayer I decided to abandon the association. Good choice I still think, but that's beside the point. The point is that I don't like change. But, I need to be open to it.